She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
