I'm laying in your front yard are you home
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
