I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
