BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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