remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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