Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
