Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
