its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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