I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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