i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish i was in the wii world.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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