about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
