it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
