i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
