I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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