sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
