I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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