hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
