idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
