yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
