You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
