Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
