Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
