i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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