he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
