the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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