During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize