I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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