Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
