I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
