You just made me feel so damn special
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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