the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
