so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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