I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
