HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
