She's JV to your varsity
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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