My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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