TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
