Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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