Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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