Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
