It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
