So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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