we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
