Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
