I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
