Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
