At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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