I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
