they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
