im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
