is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
