please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
